Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Life Lessons





The Styrofoam Cup


By Jennifer Bauer

      We carry with us a Styrofoam cup filled with water. The water symbolizes our confidence. When our cup is full we find ourselves happy with a sense of self-worth.  We feel on top of our game; full of positive energy and on top of the world. However, people will poke holes in our cup if we let them, letting some of that magical water leak out right from under our nose. They walk around armed with sharpened number 2 pencils, many times unaware of the weapon they hold in their hand. The pokes will come without warning, and without notice at first. They may come in the form of unanswered texts, eye rolls, rumors, putdowns etc. We may begin to try to fill our cup up again by calling the person who didn’t return our earlier text, only to get a voice mail message….and no call back later. By the time we are finished trying to get others to fill our cup, it is riddled with holes. Our water/confidence is completely drained.
    
     This cycle may continue indefinitely. That is until we finally realize that we are actually the ones allowing (sometimes even inviting) people to poke holes in our cup. It is important to be mindful of your cup and keep it full. Only we can allow people to poke holes in our cup; just as we are the only ones who can truly fill it. We are in charge of our own happiness. It is our Job, or function, according to The Course in Miracles, lesson 66.

     Paying attention to how we are feeling, recognizing it, even dancing with it for a little while (even if it is sadness), and then letting it go will help us to grow. Paying attention will also help us to be more aware of when we are allowing people to poke holes in our cup. Sometimes you may even find your friend holding the pencil.  When they do (and they will; maybe not on purpose) it is important to tell that person how you feel. Always remember that you teach people how to treat you. It goes hand in hand with the old adage that "people have operating instructions printed on their foreheads." Whenever you hear something that "pokes" you (even a little) recognize it, and then bounce it back with a "Hey, that hurts my feelings," or "that is an unloving thing to say."  It works. It is very difficult to do at first, but it gets easier the more you do it.

     Many believe confidence can only be earned with popularity and perfection. Not true. You don’t earn it, you claim it. You do that by embracing who you really are. This is your center. It is important to have a center to retreat to. People will try to redefine who you are. Remember those pokes? They may come at the lunch table, facebook, text message, classroom, or even the family room. You may be strolling along and someone pokes you with a; “that is a stupid idea,”  or “what is the matter with you!” Remembering your Center helps. It may even become your inner mantra. The Course of Miracles reminds us to always “remember who you are and forgive yourself everything.”

     The power of opposites is just as important. Not everyone in your life will poke holes in you, some will patch them. Their very presence inspires you. Although holes may help us evolve faster as they make us question who we are and where we are going, so do the opposite. People who not only accept us, but embrace us can also be our catalyst to becoming who we were meant to be. Plus they keep their pencils to themselves.

Tuesday, February 11, 2020

Life Judo


Life Judo
The word judo means "gentle way". Judo is also a form of martial arts in which the objective is to take down and subdue your opponent. Hence I dubbed this section of my blog Life Judo with the hopes that it will help to gently release and subdue any negative thoughts or obstacles that may be getting in the way of accomplishing dreams! 

Quotes

“It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.”
                                                                               e.e. Cummings
                 
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”
                                                               Helen Keller

“If everything comes easy you’re nobody”
                                                    Denise Goering


"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others"
Mahatma Gandhi

“How you end things is more important than how you begin them.”
                                                                                    Alan Cohen

“Ultimately what you do is secondary, how you do it is primary.”
                                                                                   Eckhart Tolle

“Whatever we concentrate on expands and increases.”
                                                                        Alan Cohen

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, beautiful, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
                                 Marianne Williamson         

“Suffering is when one is in conflict with what is.”        
                                                      Dahli Lama

“Never under appreciate the power of your essence....your traveling soul. There are reasons for everything you do. The subconscious mind occupies the largest area of your brain. Don't underestimate its capability. Instead of doubting your decisions-accept them and learn from them."
                                                  Jennifer Bauer 

"They say that the most important thing about buying a house is Location Location Location...I say that the most important indicator of a happy life is Relationship Relationship Relationship. The more healthy and positive relationships you have - the happier you will be."
 Jennifer Bauer    

"If prayer is you talking to God, then intuition is God Talking to you."
                                                                         Jo Goering


" Everything is okay in the end. If it is not okay-it is not the end."

                                                                         John Lennon

 "You are valuable because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are."  
                              Max Lucado

"Desire sets our compass, but real life steers our course"
Mitch Albom
When you believe that your problem is caused by someone else, then you are your own victim, and the situation appears to be hopeless.
                                                         Byron Katie

You can’t have an up without a down. You can’t have a left without a right. This is duality. If you have a problem, you must already have the solution.
                                                        Byron Katie


" Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing"

                                                                    Benjamin  Franklin


It doesn't make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do, We hire smart people so they can tell us what to do.”

Steve Jobs

"If you don't heal what hurt you, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you" 
                                                        Unknown

No hurt survives for long without our help
Brian Andreas

Universal Truths:
This is a list of the most important life lessons I have learned...so far. 

Things happen for us.....not to us

The issue is never the issue

Hurt people...hurt people

If you feel sorry for you're children....they will feel sorry for themselves

Healed people...heal people

You have to name it to tame it

Let your body lead and the brain will follow

Pretend you're good at it.....and you will be

We don't make mistakes-mistakes make us

Eat to live: Don't live to eat

The longest relationship you will have in your lifetime is with your siblings (and with yourself).... it is important to love both always! 

Time is the universal healer-never underestimate the tincture of time

It You feel it- you can heal it: Whatever appears in you life, no matter how it got there, is up for healing simply because it is now on your radar. 

You spot it -You got it 

Nothing is really a joke -There is truth in every statement 

The longer I live, the more I am convinced that the most important words in the English language are I'm sorry and thank-you 

A person has many ages and chronological is the least important

What we believe we will receive


Three Word Mantras
This is a list of my favorite three word precepts

Find the Good

This Shall Pass 

So Be It

Let It Be

Love Them More

It's all Good

Let it Go


Links to Living:
Having taught Middle School for over 32 years I have learned that the middle schooler envelops all opposites: joy and pain, highs and lows, conflicts-positive and negative, love and hate, mischievousness,  and helpfulness, silliness and seriousness…..unifies them….and wallah...you have your adolescent.  That young being who is just figuring out their own yin and yang cosmic dance…. Balancing their yang desire to know, control, understand, and analyze- with their yin- their openness, their vulnerability, ect.  This balancing act can last well into adulthood....it did for me. 

I have found the following Ted Talks and adages to be powerful seeds for learning life lessons. Adolescents (all humans really) make great fertilizer. Plant a seed, don't over sow it, and it will grow and expand faster than any lecture could. It is magical. Simple questions and ideas can cause a cerebral chain reaction, connecting neurons and creating new neurological pathways and new ways of thinking about things.

These are a few of my favorite "seeds"

Full Circle:
One of my dreams was to be a teacher-of-teachers. I envisioned myself one day teaching an education course at the collegiate level. However, after 32 years, I still find myself teaching Middle and High School students. It wasn’t until my daughter, Camille, shared with me one of her papers that she wrote for her Education 315 course, that I realized my dream had indeed come to fruition. It wasn’t in the form that I imagined, but even better. Her paper contained all of the life lessons that I hold dear to my heart. Reading her words were like reading my soul. As teachers, we often forget that our best students are right in front of us every day, our children. After reading the comments that Camille’s professor wrote at the end of her paper, I realized it was Camille who would be the teacher-of -teachers in our family.

Camille Bauer
Professor Carson
EDF 315
11 February 2020

Philosophy of Education
 Camille Bauer

My personal belief is that teachers must be life-long learners and must continually learn from their students so they can inspire them to reach their full potential. John Dewey was one of the founders of the teaching philosophy progressivism. He supported that the child’s interests should guide the curriculum. He supported, “education in nature, away from society as it may corrupt the child”. I lean towards this philosophy and believe that the curriculum of a school should be built around the personal experiences and needs of the students. As I reflect back on my childhood, I remember my teachers made learning lessons meaningful and built them around personal experiences. For instance, I remember one chilly November school day when our teachers escorted us outside to the playground and had us unravel an old piece of twine. We stretched that twine as tight as we could and discovered it was 90 feet long! It was there that they shared with us everything they knew about the Mayflower, the ship that brought the Pilgrims to America. It was 90 feet long and carried over 100 passengers. When teachers make learning fun and meaningful they are leaving imprints on their students’ brains that can last them a life-time.

I believe my biggest role as a teacher is to remember that I began as a student and that I will always be one. As a student I learned the power of self-fulfilling prophecy. I learned this concept when I read my book report to my third-grade teacher, and she told me that I could be a writer someday; I believed her! As a student I learned the pain and hurt of being picked last for a team, and being the first one out in a game of Simon Says. As a student, I learned that when you help your neighbor in the next seat with a math problem you understand it more. I believe these are the beliefs that John Dewey was describing. I believe one of the major purposes of education is to create a child-centered school and curriculum that allows a child to grow and take risks while learning curricula that is meaningful to him or her.

The community of diverse learners that I hope to teach someday will be in an urban setting. I have learned that it is important to explore and celebrate the diversity that occurs in the classroom. Having thoughtful discussions about diversity will guide learning to be child-centered rather than demographic centered such as race or religion. Child-first language will help make all students feel included and an important part of the classroom community. Through celebrating various cultures in the classroom setting, children will gain global awareness and world knowledge through authentic experiences. These experiences may include food, films, dress, dance, music, and much more. In the book Good to Great by Jim Collins, it states that a good teacher teaches, while a great teacher inspires. I hope to inspire my students to travel the world and to explore other cultures.

As a daughter of a teacher, I learned that students may not remember what you taught them, but they will always remember how you made them feel. As a teacher I believe that having positive relationships with your students is very important. Creating these positive relationships with students can be as easy as having short conversations about something non-school related with them to get to know them better. Although these conversations may be short, in the long run they will be very valuable in creating a caring culture in your classroom. I remember growing up and sitting at our dinner table while our mom would share stories about her school day. During those dinners, I learned that teaching is not just a career but a lifestyle. As a teacher, I believe it is important to be a good role model not just in your classroom, but in your community as well. I believe that a school should prepare and encourage the students to take active roles in their communities and society. As a teacher I can also inspire students to participate in teamwork to strengthen their skills at building connections with others.

According to the College of Education Mission at Grand Valley State University, “It is the purpose of the college to prepare teachers with practices that promote principles of democratic education to their students.” The College articulates this mission as, “Teaching, Leading, and Learning in a Democratic Society.” This mission, when coupled with my own personal teaching philosophy, will have a direct impact on my instruction regarding classroom management, instruction, and assessment. It is my hope to someday be a teacher who will encourage my students to become life-long learners who are inspired to pursue their dreams and become active members of their communities. I will do this by providing my students with opportunities in which they will be successful in the classroom. These successes may come in the form of participation, assessments, or even conversations that the student experiences while in my classroom. As mentioned before, it was as a student I learned the power of Self-fulfilling prophecy. I hope that as a teacher I create an environment in which my students will experience success in the classroom so they know that they can be successful in their futures and become valuable contributing members of society.

Monday, February 10, 2020

Playing The Bench



By Jennifer Bauer

Written for #11

“After the Game, 
the King and The pawn 
go into the same box.” 
Italian Proverb 

          As a child I remember the wallpaper in my room, the comfort that loud family dinners brought, and always wanting to play. I loved games: card games, board games, sports, Ol’ Gray Wolf, Hide and Seek, Chinese Frozen Tag, Sardines, Red Rover…anything! Anything that is that involved silly rules and people gathering to have fun. I remember vividly one day when I couldn’t find anyone to play catch with. I sat on our couch, tossing up a baseball, and feeling very sad. As I sat there pouting, my dad snapped off a Polaroid picture of me. Being the youngest of six, I learned early that Polaroid snapshots were special….even ones of long faced, 10-year-old little girls. I kept it. Every time I look at it I still remember how sad I felt in that moment. I didn’t realize it then, but that would turn out to be the first time that I ever “sat” the bench. I didn’t play it very well.

            Thirty years and two kids later I still have that same passion for games. And as far as playing the bench….well our son Zach has taught me a lot. As I write this, he is throwing a baseball into his glove, waiting for his friend Mark to don his shoes so they can go play catch. The aroma of well-worn adolescent shoes, the thud of a baseball hitting a glove, and an easy conversation between two friends fill the air. I pause to listen. “How was All Stars?” Mark asks as he finishes lacing his shoes. “Good, we won the Berrien Springs Tournament!” Zach declares. Mark nods, “Cool, How did you do at Eaton Park?”  “Great, we made it to the semi-finals and won the Sportsmanship Award,” Zach announces. “Wow!” Mark exclaims, “You guys must be good! Who do you think is the worst player on your team?” My ears perk up at this question; I turn around ready to give my standard knee jerk reaction to a question that requires a negative response. Before I can utter a word, out of the corner of my eye I catch Zach putting up his hand, “me” he replies with a smile that fills his face! “You are not! You goof!” Mark objects as he slaps him with his mitt and chases him out the door. I turn back around thinking ‘there it is once again’. The wise answer. The compassionate answer. I wonder to myself, what happened to our smack talking, wise cracking, 11-year-old boastful boy. In the baseball movie Field of Dreams, Terrence Mann describes watching a baseball game as magical. In a conversation he has with Ray Kinsella about his baseball field he states, “People will come Ray. They’ll watch the game and it’ll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters.” I believe Zach dove head first into those waters this summer.

            A summer that started out like many others. The end of the school year dash: scurrying to find misplaced library books, thank-you gifts for the kids’ teachers, conferences, assemblies, graduations, open houses, run, run, run, then finally… ahhhhh. Sweet summer. Long days filled with sunshine, and of course baseball.  Zach was on the Mets this year. First base was his home. He loved that base and played it well, or in his words, “protected” it well.  The season flew by. It wasn’t long before whispers of All Stars started permeating the bleachers. I didn’t pay very much attention. Zach would have to move up to the U12 division, and being only 11, I knew it would be a coin toss whether or not he would make it. He did. Those magic waters were getting closer.

            During the first All Star practice, the coaches called a parent meeting. We were assembled onto the bleachers, our home away from home, and given the low-down about this year’s season. “I’m not going to lie to you; there is a big possibility that some of the kids won’t see any playing time. We have 13 boys on our team, and when we can only play nine at a time that means that four will have to sit the bench. We are going to do everything we have to do to win these tournaments,” the coach explained as I continued to watch the practice behind him.  I had a strong intuition that Zach was going to be one of the four. The longer I watched, the more apprehensive I became. Zach has never sat the bench for more than a few innings his entire baseball career. I have known kids who have spent a lot of time on the bench, and it destroyed their confidence, and their joy of baseball along with it. I didn’t want this to happen to Zach. I thought of Jim Stovall’s words in his book the Ultimate Gift, ”When you learn from your problems you begin to deal with life, when you learn from others’ problems you begin to master it.” It was time to learn.

            The night before his first game Zach had his friend Goerge over. “So what position are you going to play?” he asked. “I don’t know, probably outfield or first,” Zach answered. “Do you think you’ll start,” George continued. “Yes, but I don’t know where.” Zach said. There it was. My opportunity. I seized it. “Hey Zach,” I called out from the kitchen, “with so many kids on the team they may also ask you to play the bench.”  “You mean sit the bench mom? How can you “play” the bench,” he snickered as he sent George an eye roll. “Actually Zach, I think playing the bench is the most important position on the team, and definitely the most difficult. You have to cheer your team on, pay attention, be ready to play at all times, and help out where ever you can. In fact, you are basically in charge of the team’s morale. Someone who plays the bench well can make a huge difference in the outcome of the game,” I explained. Zach froze. A seed was planted. A seed he didn’t want to think about. “Let’s go play video games George,” and with that they were off. 

            The first game couldn’t come soon enough. My intuition was correct. Zach played the bench.  Although his team lost, he was up cheering after every play. He was the first to high five the players that crossed home plate. He ran out between innings to warm up the outfielder closest to the dugout.  His dad, Drew, and I were in awe. He sparkled. Since it was a double elimination tournament we played the following day as well. The following morning when Zach’s plans to go golfing got cancelled due to a storm I noticed tears well up in his eyes. When I asked him what was the matter the tears started. “ I can’t play golf, and I won’t play baseball tonight!” he explained. “Why won’t you play baseball?” I asked confused. “Because, I’ll probably have to play the bench again,” he sighed. “Hmmmm, well how about if you go outside and play baseball now. The storm passed. I bet Zane and Mark are home,” I suggested.   I recently read where many times strong intuitions are followed by coincidences. Sure enough, at that moment there was a knock at the door. It was Mark wanting to play baseball. Hence a tradition was born that day. On game days, Zach would play baseball before his game. 

The second game was much like the first. However, this time we won. I could hardly recognize Zach in the dugout.  This once serious boy was often bouncing off the bench cheering for every player.  I found myself beginning to nudge my bleacher mates ‘did you see that! Did you see how Zach jumped out of the dug out to congratulate Jackson on his homerun!” I thought they must think I’m silly, that was until they began nudging me, pointing out the same things. I couldn’t believe how amiable he was handling not playing. I hoped it would last. I caught myself worrying that we hadn’t prepared him enough for having to be on the bench. All I did was plant the seed. It was then that I noticed the towering Oak hovering over left field. Its colossal branches reaching into the sky, touching the clouds. I smiled as I thought of the acorn.

As the season progressed, so did our learning curve. As a scheduling glitch they had us scheduled to play on the Fourth of July weekend. We have always pilgrimaged to Pickerel Lake, our Mecca, to celebrate the 4th with my family. I was devastated. I decided to give Zach the choice of whether to play, or go up north to see his Grandparents and cousins. When he simply responded, “Mom, I made a commitment to this team; I am going to stay and play this weekend,” I was overwhelmed. Later that same night our phone rang. Zach answered. I waited for him to hand it over, figuring it was for me. “How did I do tonight?” he repeated aloud so I could hear. It was his aunt.  We shared a look and I just shrugged my shoulders signaling for him to answer. He then nodded and smiled,” We did great! We won!” It was then that I knew we were going to make it through this season. There it was. The wise answer once again. It isn’t about him, or any one player. It is about the team, and Zach was finally learning that. We all were.

During the 6th inning of one game we were startled when we heard his coach shout to the ump, “Pinch hitter; Bauer hitting for Starkey.” Zach cast us a thumbs up as he grabbed his bat and threw his helmet on. He didn’t even have time to put on his batting gloves. I think he was as surprised as we were. He hit the second pitch. It was a line drive past the short stop. His dad jumped up and yelled, “That’s the way to hit the ball Zach!” Followed by his famous whistle. As Drew sat down I wondered how Zach’s new position was affecting him. He began teaching Zach how to play baseball before he could walk! “Jen, watch our son hit this ball!” He would call to me as I worked in the yard. Sure enough, there he would be, barely standing up, leaning against his father’s legs with a bat readying himself to hit a baseball off a tee! He was amazing even back then. Drew taught him everything he knows about the game; which is a great deal as he grew up eating, breathing, and living baseball. His parents had volunteered to build the Harbert Community Baseball field on their property. This was no ordinary ball park; with a groomed infield and outfield, a concession stand, and even lights it was a ‘Field of Dreams’ for many of the local youth, and adults. Never did I realize this so much as when I started teaching Middle School in the vicinity of where Drew Grew up.

 Being a secondary teacher we hold our Parent/Teacher conferences in the cafeteria.  In an ala carte fashion parents walk around looking for their child’s teachers and then stand in line until he/she has an opening. I can remember my first conference after I married Drew. I was so proud to place my new nameplate, Mrs. Bauer, in front of my table. It didn’t take long for parents to pass by my table, look down, and then inquire if I was related to the “Bauer ballpark” Bauers. When the answer was yes, they would take a seat and proceed to share their memories with me from their youth. I heard many stories about Bauer Ball Park during those conferences: About playing with Jeff Peterek on that field, who later played for the Brewers, about magical moments between fathers and sons, about home-runs and Grand Slams, about childhood crushes, about teams, about injuries, and about life lessons. It wasn’t always just the players. I would also hear stories from the Coke Man who delivered the soda syrup every week to the concession stand who is now the Chief of Police, From the manager of the company who donated colorful Panels for the Outfield fences, From the insurance Agent who sold his first  $1,000,000 liability policy to Warren Bauer, Drew’s dad, to insure the ball park, and even the ump who missed calling out “STEEEERIKE!” Many times the parents would come back to visit during the next set of conferences armed with pictures and newspaper clippings. It seemed more times than not I spent Conferences listening to the parents talk about their childhoods, versus their children’s’. I began to understand why whenever Drew watched Field of Dreams he cried when Ray Kinsella called out “Hey….Dad, you wanna have a catch?” Now I cry with him.

As I sat with him on the bleachers, our daughter Camille tucked between us, watching Zach on first, I knew that these were new waters for him too. I whispered, “Tomorrow’s a double header, maybe Zach will play one of the games.” Drew simply took my hand and said, “And maybe he won’t. And that’s okay.” It was then that I knew we were learning together. Growing together. The double header came and went. The coach began putting Zach in more as a pinch hitter. We won some games, and lost some games, but Zach’s attitude never faltered. Friends would call and give advice: “Talk to the coach, Zach should be playing more”, “You know the squeaky wheel gets the grease”, ect. Drew and I kept our silence. We were content at playing the bench, or “bleachers” in our case, right along with our son.

That is until the semi-finals at Eaton Park. As fate would have it, during the semi-finals our catcher got hurt in the third inning. We all clapped as he was escorted off the field and herded into the dugout. It was then that we heard “Bauer take first!”  In an instant we turned to see Zach standing on first base. With a big smile and nod he found us in the bleachers and threw us a thumbs up sign.  He was home. The team played well. Zach finished with two hits, and no errors. It would turn out to be the last game of the season.  Although we lost, we ended up receiving the sportsmanship award, the tournaments highest honor. In the story My Grandfather’s Blessings Rachael Naomi Remen writes, “I was raised to read the tealeaves in life, to examine every life event to determine if it was fortunate or unfortunate. The fortunate ones were painless, easy, and happy; the unfortunate ones were not. Although I once was certain, I no longer believe that I can tell the difference. As my father, a dedicated and somewhat addicted gin rummy player, would say, “It’s not in the hand; it’s in the way that you play it.” I will always remember this All Star season. I think Zach played it just right. 





Pillar Poetry




Pillar Poetry, short rows of words arranged in a column that are easily read and written to help remember moments or thoughts that we experience along the way. Webster’s defines a pillar as:

1. A firm upright vertical support usually an ornamental column or shaft standing alone for a monument
2. A supporting, integral, or upstanding part: a pillar of society
3. A fundamental precept; the five pillars of Islam

Hence, Pillar Poetry was created to help remember memories that may stand alone, but together will help one to recall a monumental life. 

These Poems are a work in progress. To see published Pillar Poems please visit my instagram site: https://www.instagram.com/pillarpoetry/

Pillar Poetry in now on Amazon! A book created by Camille and Jennifer Bauer

                                       




Thursday, January 27, 2011

Journel-ying

Mushy Snowballs

I always wanted to be one of those “together” people. I thought the day would come when adjectives such as secure, poised, self-assured, could readily apply to me. I’d be on top of things and ahead of the game. I imagined myself swinging down the halls sporting a snappy hand bag, containing all the essentials of life, and all readily available. Oh, I have days when I wear and say the right things, but those moments of poise still go toe-to-stubbed toe with my blunders. I’ve come to the conclusion that life for me is always going to be bumpy, and I figure I’ll never perfect it, so I’d better brave It Instead. Ironically, knowing that I will stumble and trip has given me the confidence I crave. I once thought confidence could only be earned with perfection…now I know that you don’t earn it, you claim it. I do that by embracing the compassionate, loving, enthusiastic unpretentious free spirit that is the essence of my heart. This is my center.
 The older I get I find that the bumps don’t come as often (one of the joys of getting older). Knowing your center helps. You begin to pay attention to the signs up ahead and proceed with caution. You learn to get out of the way of snowballs that are rolling downhill your way; where before you jumped aboard and clung on for the ride until eventually the snowball grew so large, mushy, and muddy that it all fell apart before you had time to jump off.  Beit a bad relationship, job, date, conversation etc… you eventually learn that every person or incident is your teacher: And that they are your snowballs....your lessons…and a lesson is repeated until learned (one way or another the universe will get your attention). 


Scarecrows
My childhood friend…now facebook friend…Mercedes often posts things that grab me. Today she shared the word Kuebiko. I played with that word all day. It bounced around my brain like a sunray dancing on the water. Kuebiko is defined as a state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence…I was surprised it was a noun. It read like an adjective. However, after dancing with this word while watching the morning news in which four 18 year olds tortured a mentally disabled person in Chicago…I was glad of its noun status.  

The definition of this state of being-Kuebiko- explains that when someone experiences such a state they are forced to revise their image of what can happen in this world—"mending the fences of their expectations, weeding out all unwelcome and invasive truths while cultivating the good that’s buried under the surface, and propping themselves up like an old scarecrow, who’s bursting at the seams but powerless to do anything but stand there and watch." 

Today I am that scarecrow. I am Kuebiko. I am a scarecrow standing in the field of  hallways that are my life. But sometimes….just sometimes…I get a glimpse of other scarecrows standing near me. Their very presence reminds me that I am not alone. We are Kuebiko. We are kindred spirits who share a cosmic connection that willI always be revered until the day I die.